falling apart

I feel like everything's falling apart. It's like a dramatic Hindi movie :( I wish it wasn't happening this way. The ones we thought were supporting us just left us stranded today. I can't even explain to myself what's going on. It's come to such a point that our own have abandoned us. What should I make out of it? What should we make out of it? I have decided that I want to be that helping hand which my own couldn't be. I don't know whether to feel privileged that I'm not a victim of such a situation, or whether to feel horrible I'm a witness to it. I happen to be a part of the opposition, the ones who did it. :( This could have never happened to me, never to us. Never did I think I might end up being a part of this injustice, this horror.
I know this is a far-fetched thought for many, but I want to bring justice and equality. How is it that in this world so many people are going through injustice? Is it really that hard to be just? Is it really hard to spread love and care? How can people be selfish? How?? Why is it so hard to care about others? Why is it so hard to think beyond..? Beyond oneself? I just don't understand it. People who speak the truth and fight for the truth, they always get walked all over. Especially in India. And it's so sad because India is the land of many colors, it's the art of diversity, it's the voice of all sounds coming together. I just have such a hard time coming to terms with this fact of reality. Those who have tried to change the world have succeeded and after they are gone, the world comes back to its entropy--chaos, disorder, greed, injustice. Whether it was Gandhi or Bhagat Singh, Mother Teresa or Princess Diana.
I hope God gets me through this. I hope He helps us all get through this time. I hope he gives justice to those who are not getting it. Guide me to the path of light, the path of moral and righteousness, and give me the strength to fight for it and to keep fighting for it.


It's said that good always prevails evil, is that really true? I hope it is, and I hope I can one day prove it to those who tell me it's not--you know who you are.

Thanks for being there *Sheila*, through thick and thin, through the worst of times, for truly being the definition of a best friend.