http://www.cnn.com/2013/08/23/world/irpt-indian-women-sexual-harassment/index.html?hpt=wo_t3
I read this article about women speaking on sexual harassment. I've heard defensive statements that don't address the problem at all:
to solutions that point to avoidance in terms of dealing with it:
While I'd much like to agree that if a woman is wearing something revealing, it would naturally pull men's attention, I feel we also need to think about the men that we're referring to. The ones who commit such offenses already have a need to overpower. They are already insecure in some ways and are seeking outlets to feel powerful. The easiest way and most immediately fruitful way to feel powerful is in competition with another, or more specifically abuse. A quick way to defeat someone. Defeat someone's self-respect, confidence, attractiveness, or anything that person could be proud of. Defeat anything that you may feel you don't have or have enough of. This however is also very temporary. How many would you need to overpower every single day, to fight your own inadequate feelings about yourself? Doesn't the strength, the confidence, and self-respect need to come from within?
While women should be cautious and look out for themselves and each other, the problem really needs to be addressed in both directions. From the male and female side. From the younger generation and also from the older generation. From illiterate and also from the literate population. From extremists of feminism to preachers of patriarchy. So instead how about:
We must educate everyone about the strengths of men and women. To emphasize that while our bodies and minds may not have been engineered by nature to work the same way, it is only by the combination of the strengths of both that successful understanding and appreciation of both may be achieved. While they need not be dependent unhealthily on each other, they are also not meant by nature to be entirely independent. But really only a balance of love, equality, and appreciation between the two is foundation to a healthy and safe society.
I read this article about women speaking on sexual harassment. I've heard defensive statements that don't address the problem at all:
- "Don't generalize all men this way"
- "But it happens all over the world, why single us out"
to solutions that point to avoidance in terms of dealing with it:
- "Don't go out at night" (that really narrows your time out down to 5am-5pm, most of which is used to be at work)
- "Don't be at public places" (that's every place besides our home)
- "Don't go out at night AND/OR at public places, ALONE" (While it's always smart to travel in groups, should she need to ever do something for herself, this restricts a woman's independence and self-reliance, and takes away her privacy)
- "Don't wear provocative clothing" (the definition of which may really not be anything, because for male sexual harassers, being a woman is itself the most provocative thing)
- and the best of all, "Don't talk to men" (that's 50% of the population that a woman should be cautious of)
While I'd much like to agree that if a woman is wearing something revealing, it would naturally pull men's attention, I feel we also need to think about the men that we're referring to. The ones who commit such offenses already have a need to overpower. They are already insecure in some ways and are seeking outlets to feel powerful. The easiest way and most immediately fruitful way to feel powerful is in competition with another, or more specifically abuse. A quick way to defeat someone. Defeat someone's self-respect, confidence, attractiveness, or anything that person could be proud of. Defeat anything that you may feel you don't have or have enough of. This however is also very temporary. How many would you need to overpower every single day, to fight your own inadequate feelings about yourself? Doesn't the strength, the confidence, and self-respect need to come from within?
While women should be cautious and look out for themselves and each other, the problem really needs to be addressed in both directions. From the male and female side. From the younger generation and also from the older generation. From illiterate and also from the literate population. From extremists of feminism to preachers of patriarchy. So instead how about:
- Teaching and being role models of equality and mutual respect at home (mom-dad, parents-children, parents-grandparents, grandparents-children, guests-family)
- Teaching and being role models of equality and mutual respect at work (colleagues amongst each other, boss-employee)
- Teaching and being role models of equality and mutual respect in public (buyer-seller, general public with each other)
- Creating a social norm of being involved in the community, watchful of the safety and well-being of our community and environment, by encouraging ourselves and our families to work together towards this goal
- Educating women to respect their bodies and love themselves, and carry that respect forward to other men and women in their lives
- Educating men to respect women in their lives, as well as practice this respect outside
We must educate everyone about the strengths of men and women. To emphasize that while our bodies and minds may not have been engineered by nature to work the same way, it is only by the combination of the strengths of both that successful understanding and appreciation of both may be achieved. While they need not be dependent unhealthily on each other, they are also not meant by nature to be entirely independent. But really only a balance of love, equality, and appreciation between the two is foundation to a healthy and safe society.
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