Some people have the wrong idea of independence. My mom said to me a few days back, "sometimes you're too independent." I thought about what she meant - is there such a thing as too much independence?? I realized she simply wanted me to depend on her more than I wanted to. For me, true independence starts from the mind and heart. The desire and then ability, to think and opine "carefreely." It then takes form through actions. Independence is not being anti-social and not wanting to depend on anyone. It's simply being self-reliant and not needing it. It's not about isolating oneself, but it's about being secure, stable, and confident so one can support others around them. It's about the journey continuing to fulfill yourself as a person, through believing and trusting yourself.
This morning started with rain that cooled temperatures down to the 70s! Woohoo!! We visited my aunt today. I love going to that side of the town. I get a rush of nostalgia and happiness tingles me from within! I feel like I'm 10-15 years younger and back to my maternal grandparents house. I love being pampered, loved, showered with care and sincerity, and that's exactly how they treat me every single time! I love the brazen honesty and the immediately inclusion into their family! Most of all, I love the sincerity and strength of their individual relationships with each other. It gives me hope, it gives me such a boost of positive energy. Above all, it proves all those people wrong who think anything is fair (tolerance, sacrifice, loss of self-respect and confidence) to keep a relationship alive. Yes! Relationships can be healthy and beautiful and I'm witnessing it right now! :) Take that, world!
Though my aunt has now shifted to the next building, the look is similar, and with them around, so is the feel. I saw pictures of my grandparents on the side table, and just wanted to cry. I miss them so much. I envisioned my grandma in the kitchen, rolling away chappathis and asking me to recite shloks after her. She wouldn't let me eat without washing my hands first and doing my evening prayers. Sometimes I wouldn't understand a Sanskrit word here and there and would try to get away by mumbling what I thought it sounded like...hoping that God, being my friend, would understand what I'm trying to say anyway. After all, the sincerity of the devotee is more important than their ability to pronounce Sanskrit words or recite shloks. As my aunt fed me dosas and sambar, I relished them, wondering the whole time if my grandparents were watching me at this moment, and if they were happy to see me. I secretly giggled with glee! When we left, I felt like grandpa was walking out with me. The feelings were a combination of sadness and satisfaction.
On our drive back, I noticed a girl at a gas station, backing her car to get close to the gas pump (actually the petrol pump..heehee!). I thought to myself - that's independence. Not only do I absolutely suck at backing cars, I also can't imagine myself driving in India. But small forms of such independence rebelliously spark my interest. Hmm. If I were driving in India, I wouldn't worry about being hit from the back or the front as much as I'd worry about being hit from the sides. I really think driving within the lanes will take out 80% of the stress and frustration of the drivers. Sure it won't make life any faster, but it'll make driving a little more predictable. I like that. I like predictable :)
I have been generally counting how many males and females I saw on our drives, and I can say with conviction that there is a much higher percentage of men out on the street than women, especially more so at night (and I wouldn't want to make this statement without having seen it first).
I also saw an ambulance squeezing its way out of thick traffic, but what caught my eye was a small Maruti Suzuki (I think?) that moved out of its way. I smiled. I also saw a bunch of young guys manning a stall, shouting out and sharing free cherry-colored drinks to passerbys and drivers in the midday heat. That was kind of them. I'm happy. Today's been a good day.
This morning started with rain that cooled temperatures down to the 70s! Woohoo!! We visited my aunt today. I love going to that side of the town. I get a rush of nostalgia and happiness tingles me from within! I feel like I'm 10-15 years younger and back to my maternal grandparents house. I love being pampered, loved, showered with care and sincerity, and that's exactly how they treat me every single time! I love the brazen honesty and the immediately inclusion into their family! Most of all, I love the sincerity and strength of their individual relationships with each other. It gives me hope, it gives me such a boost of positive energy. Above all, it proves all those people wrong who think anything is fair (tolerance, sacrifice, loss of self-respect and confidence) to keep a relationship alive. Yes! Relationships can be healthy and beautiful and I'm witnessing it right now! :) Take that, world!
Though my aunt has now shifted to the next building, the look is similar, and with them around, so is the feel. I saw pictures of my grandparents on the side table, and just wanted to cry. I miss them so much. I envisioned my grandma in the kitchen, rolling away chappathis and asking me to recite shloks after her. She wouldn't let me eat without washing my hands first and doing my evening prayers. Sometimes I wouldn't understand a Sanskrit word here and there and would try to get away by mumbling what I thought it sounded like...hoping that God, being my friend, would understand what I'm trying to say anyway. After all, the sincerity of the devotee is more important than their ability to pronounce Sanskrit words or recite shloks. As my aunt fed me dosas and sambar, I relished them, wondering the whole time if my grandparents were watching me at this moment, and if they were happy to see me. I secretly giggled with glee! When we left, I felt like grandpa was walking out with me. The feelings were a combination of sadness and satisfaction.
On our drive back, I noticed a girl at a gas station, backing her car to get close to the gas pump (actually the petrol pump..heehee!). I thought to myself - that's independence. Not only do I absolutely suck at backing cars, I also can't imagine myself driving in India. But small forms of such independence rebelliously spark my interest. Hmm. If I were driving in India, I wouldn't worry about being hit from the back or the front as much as I'd worry about being hit from the sides. I really think driving within the lanes will take out 80% of the stress and frustration of the drivers. Sure it won't make life any faster, but it'll make driving a little more predictable. I like that. I like predictable :)
I have been generally counting how many males and females I saw on our drives, and I can say with conviction that there is a much higher percentage of men out on the street than women, especially more so at night (and I wouldn't want to make this statement without having seen it first).
I also saw an ambulance squeezing its way out of thick traffic, but what caught my eye was a small Maruti Suzuki (I think?) that moved out of its way. I smiled. I also saw a bunch of young guys manning a stall, shouting out and sharing free cherry-colored drinks to passerbys and drivers in the midday heat. That was kind of them. I'm happy. Today's been a good day.
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